40 weeks

by colleen on August 19, 2014

bumparama I am 40 weeks pregnant. So basically 10 months. This is what I look like. And what do I feel like? It’s hard to walk, breathe, sleep, sit, do anything but  wonder when it’s all gonna go down. I make myself do small walks a few times a day. Walk the dog. Run an errand. It’s tough getting around but the alternative — sitting around — is way worse.

I am still working, thankfully from home, because just the thought of navigating Penn Station and the subway like this brings me to tears. During my last commute home last week, a dude rushing to his train actually shoved me… which led to another guy shoving him, and me getting really scared I’d be caught in a melee.

Enough of that. I can do most things from home anyway. And even if it’s just doing some emails, conference calls, and writing up some documents, work provides me with something to focus on other than waiting. That said, I am gradually phasing myself out of projects and weaning myself off the office. Once the baby comes I am sure it will be easier to withdraw … I won’t have a choice!

Very soon I will have no more peace and quiet, even less sleep so I know I should try & rest as much as I can. Sleeping whilst 10 months pregnant is a challenge. You sleep on one side (assisted by a maternity pillow, of course) until you get deadleg/dead butt… then you switch sides. Eventually you must sit up to regain some bloodflow to your butt. So you either have to sleep sitting up or find something else to do from 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. With an elaborate configuration of pillows … including a neck rest … I have now mastered the art of sleeping sitting up. #proud

Although I am kvetching, I am very excited and know I’m lucky to have had such an easy pregnancy overall. Everything is going to be great and our little girl will be here before I know it. In the meantime, I’ll be huffing and puffing and counting the hours!



ain’t nobody got time for that

by colleen on July 30, 2014

I am 9 months pregnant. Which means I’ll very likely be a new Mom this time next month. My world is about to be rocked and I know it. So I’m gradually detaching from nonessential obligations and distractions. Not making social plans, not doing anything I don’t want or need to do. Like suffering bullshit from anyone… intentional or otherwise.

I’m savoring what last shreds of peace and quiet I can grab. Getting a facial, mani pedi on a Saturday. Sitting quietly with my husband after we put the Littles to bed. Sleeping. Reading a book.

As I get older, I’m learning to enjoy and appreciate the beauty of the moments I’m living, while I’m living them. And to stop letting other people suck me into their drama, manipulations and machinations. I suspect I’ll be even more focused after the baby comes.

Kinda like I remember my Mom was when we were little. She wasn’t taking crap from anyone. She was focused on taking care of us, my Dad and herself. Anything else that didn’t enhance her/our lives… she sent it packing. Cause when you’re responsible for the lives of others, ain’t nobody got time for that.



Falling in love with my kids

July 3, 2014

As a pregnant lady, I am often told about how, once the insane exhausting first few weeks and months of my newborn’s life give way to a bit of a routine … once the feeding, sleeping, diapering, crying sleeplessness normalizes and the smiles and cooing begin…I will naturally fall in love with my baby. It […]

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Circle of Life

June 18, 2014

In August it will be five years that Dad’s been gone. Since then, I met the love of my life, became an #instamom, moved to the suburbs and got pregnant (our little girl also due in August). Lots has changed. I miss him all the time, especially in family moments like on my wedding day. (I […]

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self affirmation

June 18, 2014

Last year around this time I was still a single gal with 1 BR apt in the East Village 1 dog 1 cat 1 executive position at a TV network 1 30-minute daily commute Today I am a married #Instamom with 1 husband 2 kids 1 baby on way (ETA: 8/19/14) 2 cats 1 dog […]

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June 16, 2014

amazon babies r us pinterest because people keep asking. the amazon stuff is the smaller day to day stuff. the babies r us has furniture and the like. gift cards are HUGE because they let us get what we really need. the pinterest board give you a sense of our style. i am not one for […]

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June 4, 2014

Pregnancy is so weird. There is no privacy to it. Your “condition” is on display for all to see and speculate about. Some comments are unwittingly presumptuous and stress-inducing. Especially when they come from people you barely know and involve personal matters  that you may be struggling with or unsure of like: Weight gain Birth plan Maternity […]

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letter to my 20′s self

May 24, 2014

Relax. All those things you worry about, namely the ridiculous pressure you feel to find the love of your life and life’s purpose before turning 30? It’s bullshit. Even extending that deadline to 35… Still bullshit. Forget about timelines and deadlines as hard as that may be, given that you’ve been raised since birth to […]

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