after all my shit talking, i should be further along in my halloween costume than i am. the main celebration (west village parade, hijinks and pub-crawl) is a mere 4 days away. tonight i hit the halloween store on university and 11th. it was a mob scene! (NB: i saw tim roberts leaving as i was walking in. he sure is tall.)

my main objective was to find an irwinesque wig. there were a few choices for blond males. i kid of regret the one i landed on … it’s a 70s shag thing, practically platinum blond. figured i could cut and style it. but upon further perusal of some photos of steve online, i think i should have gone with the rod stewartesque two-tone one. it would probably provide a better starting point. oh well, no use crying over non-refundable wig purchases.

amid the mayhem, i spotted a dude filling up a giant bin with plastic snakes, rats, roaches, spiders and things of that ilk. i asked if he had any stingrays in there. “nah, no stingrays,” he said. (pause …) “Hey are you gonna be that guy who got killed?”

Me: Giant grin.
Dude: Damn, that’s good.

I walked out of there with the wig, a human heart, and snake. Then I moseyed over to Forever 21 where I bought a men’s safari-esque shirt (long sleeves). I already have khaki/green cargo pants. What do you think — can I adapt the outfit for the weather? Can’t see myself lasting very long on a pub crawl in shorts and short sleeves if this cold keeps up. Yet I’m torn — I don’t like to abandon verisimilitude so easily. Halloween is very serious business!

Am hoping to borrow hiking boots from Spillah. Then all that’s left is the pièce de résistance — the infamous stingray! I plan to make it myself, per B’s suggestion. Daunting, but also kind of fun … it’s bringing back memories of the kickass volcano I made in 1985, winning me the 5-B diorama contest at Ann Blanch Smith.

Pressure is on, folks. Because if you’re gonna rock the costume, you’ve got to rock it all the way. And the weirder and wackier the better, especially if you’re a chick. As many of us have discussed time and time again, the variation of the whore Halloween motif is for unimaginative, lazy or repressed women. If you’re lazy — let’s face it, we’re all lazy sometimes — you get a pass. But if you’re the other two: you just suck. Sorry, but it must be said.

Related Posts
happy birthday tina fey
pimp the oracle's ride
NYC: it’s all here
No Comment
  • Anonymous

    You can totally borrow my hiking boots. 8.5

  • Lost

    You saw Tim Robbins leaving the Halloween store? Interesting, wonder what he was getting. My brother plays hockey with him on a team occassionally.

    Anyway, girl…you ain’t playin’…Halloween IS serious business to you. I don’t do the overly slutty outfits, but admittedly, it’s hard for me to come up with an outfit. A few years ago I went as Tina Turner and that was totally fun. Working on this years…if I decide to attend a Halloween fete w/you!


Leave Your Comment

Your Comment*

Your Name*
Your Webpage