A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Personality Disorder
Holy crap. My cousin has just brought to my attention a remarkable Bostonian ─ a Don Juannabe who’s more like Ignatius Riley seeking his own Myrna Minkoff. And since she met him in the flesh, I have confirmation that he’s a real person.
Start with the background.
Then review his web site (if you have 40 hours to spare). And be sure to check out his “Girlfriend Job Description.”
Unprompted, the dude actually sent my cousin — a woman he barely knows — the following tome describing his “IDEAL ROMANTIC MATCH.” Here it is:
Manners and kindness to friends and strangers. Basic kindness and courtesy to others, particularly strangers.
Present, who focus completely on whomever they are talking with
Smart, smart, smart
Intellectual curiosity and a wide range of intellectual interests
Very, very verbal and highly articulate. Great conversationalist
Because I am verbal, if she has an accent, it can’t be hard to understand. If I hard to work to understand what she is saying, the verbal banter can never be great
High bandwidth, someone who can handle my intensity
Outgoing. The famous Boston reserve never did much for me.
Social grace, social charm and poise, those who make others feel comfortable
Outgoing. Likes to socialize
Dresses well. Likes to dress up
Passionate about life and love
Empathy and emotional intelligence
Optimistic. Views the glass as half full
Femininity, someone who is a girly girl
Highly romantic and incredibly affectionate. Comfortable with tasteful displays of public affection
Great sense of humor
Three extra brownie points:
If she has a strong interest in the arts and humanities — classics, literature, writing, music, drama, dance and the fine arts. Even extra expoints if she is actually creating or performing art, rather than analyzing it.
Entrepreneurs are always interesting — if they’re successful, they have to be talented in so many different areas.
If she has traveled a lot and/or speaks several foreign languages
What I’m not looking for?
Hair and eye color — I couldn’t care less.
Hair — Really frizy or curly hair does not appeal to me. Wavy hair is fine, as is straight hair.
Height — I’ve always found taller women to be attractive, but this is a very, very slight preference. I could definitely fall for a girl who is short.
Weight — Normal weight, a few pounds less or a few pounds more. Really thin does not appeal to me (I like curves on a girl) and more than a few pounds overweight does not appeal to me either. I am definitely not as fussy about weight as many guys are.
Bust — My fantasy girl is quite buxom. Normal bust is acceptable, small or no bust is not. A girl I dated was totally flat chested and it just didn’t work for me.
I prefer women who dress well and wear clothes that show off their figure — the sexier the clothes they wear, the better.