love, Uncategorized

flannel pajamas

it’s an indy film … tracks a couple’s relationship from the moment they meet until its predictable end. they’re under a microscope — it’s very real and you can immediately see what the issues are going to be. they don’t communicate well. they avoid all the important conversations. and as the latest self-help title i’m reading (review forthcoming on this space) clearly articulates, the conversation IS the relationship. the very thing you are afraid to talk about is just the thing you must to talk about if you want the relationship to last.

when you watch it, you can see yourself and people you know in it. you feel bad for them both. still, it’s hard not to take sides. naturally, i identified with the woman more, but then she has some of the same baggage as me. the guy is so self absorbed … he’s oblivious to the people around him, especially his wife. he keeps saying he wants to protect her from everything. but she doesn’t need protection — she needs his love. an article in the nytimes reports that the writer/director wrote the story about his own “first and only marriage.” he said it taught him that “love is not as important as empathy.” i disagree. without empathy, there is no true love.

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