Love and the City

i-love-nyi said i wasn’t gonna do resolutions but i lied. one of them involves making more of an effort to find love. it’s hard to admit, allow the vulnerability. i am a tough gal, proudly independent. i do not stake my identity, happiness and self-worth on whether or not i’m married or in a relationship. but alas, i still want to find a partner in crime. and ideally someone whose genetic material i wouldn’t mind perpetuating.

so i am out there, open of heart. doing things differently to try to meet new people. of course, everyone has a goddamned opinion about the quest…

“when you stop looking is when you’ll meet someone.”
“you’ll meet ‘him’ when you least expect it.”
“maybe you’re being too picky… maybe you need to be open to different kinds of men than you’re looking at right now.”

i say that with love … i’m glad my friends and family care. and hey what the hell maybe someone DOES actually have an original idea that does not involve me taking salsa lessons or trying online dating for the gazillionth time.

yet, at times it’s nice to have a pal throw up her hands in empathy and admit i’m f-ed. makes me feel like slightly less of a chump. thanks, laurs! you made my day!

Hey Col! I’ve been thinking about your quest to find love in NYC. I dunno. That city is all power-relationships and crazy & unfulfillable romance. I think you go to NYC to find drugs and herpes. Maybe a good restaurant. Love? Can you get that in Manhattan? The Bronx? Park Slope? Fucking hipsters suck the love out of the city….xoxo Laurie

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  • Oh, Col, I am with you on this one, too. Where is love in this city? I recently joined okcupid.com after so many of my friends have found great people through it. And it’s free. I’m leaving no stone unturned in 2010. 🙂

    Ideasmith, just checked out your blog and subscribed. What a cool site!

  • ideasmithy, i just checked out your bloggy and am following you on twitter. thanks for the compassionate words and input. have to say anti-nyc jesting aside, mumbia, chicago, san fran — i’d face the same challenges no matter what city i lived in … am one of those quirkyalone types. and no matter where i go, there i’ll be. thankfully i am able to stay open and hopeful.

    laurs, it occurs to me upon further reflection that i am at least 33.3% hipster. therefore, i am part of the problem. my existential angst contributes to the atmosphere of crazy and unfulfillable romance in this city.

  • I hear you, I so do. I’m starting to think keeping that hope alive may not be just new age bunkum. It makes life so much more liveable. It certainly makes it easier to enjoy a date if one believes that there’s a possibility he could be the right one. And there’s nothing needy or shameful about wanting companionship. It’s a natural human instinct and I think you should be proud that you have it in equal measure with your independence and smartness. I live in Mumbai which is just the same thing in a different colour.

    All the best to and I hope 2010 brings you the person you’re looking for and that he turns out to be wonderful!

  • wait, laurs you’re in raleigh … why you hawkin the midwest? i do love chicago, tho.

    b.landon … thanks, sounds interesting. also sounds a hell of a lot like carrie bradshaw’s plight on Sex and the City. eventually Big came around, tho, and she married his handsome, witty rich ass. i’ll take the hollywood ending over german psychotherapy (no offense!)

  • b.landon

    may i recommend an enlightening title? strong women’s desire for a strong man by German psychotherapist Maja Storch:
    “Why don’t strong women fall in love with nice, uncomplicated men? Many strong women are afraid to drop their guard and allow themselves to pursue that loving relationship for fear of losing the independence and power they have worked so hard to establish. So they continue to fall in love with those men who will never give them the commitment, love and respect they want.”

  • It’s not you. It’s the hipsters. Come find love in the midwest.

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