When you grow up with a domineering, moody man dictating the tenor of your existence, you learn to put other people’s desires and impulses ahead of your own. You don’t act – you re-act. You don’t love – you try to be loveable. It took me many years of work – in therapy and on my own – to realize that I don’t have to internalize or react to other people’s moods. I am free to set my own course. If someone is showing erratic, inconsistent or moody behavior towards me, I don’t have to get caught up in it. I can let it roll past. When something (such as love, approval, affection, respect) is scarce or rare, it’s human nature to value it more highly. In a toxic environment or relationship, you’ll find yourself being pathetically grateful for rare scraps of good mood, kind behavior and proper professionalism that come your way. Once you step back at look at the situation, you can see that you deserve more — a lot more. No matter what, real approval/validation has to come from within, not from the outside. Once you get the hang of that, it becomes easier to go towards the things you really desire.
Here’s a good writeup on dealing with the moody type …
http://tinyurl.com/yhhtjze
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Col, this post wrote so eloquently what I’ve been thinking about so much for the last few weeks. It’s amazing what we pick up from others and the outside world because we’re empathic people. The trick is how can we remain empathic and also preserve our true selves in every moment. I’m going to take a peek at the link you included.
love it.