changesWe would rather be ruined than changed;
We would rather die in our dread
Than climb the cross of the moment
And let our illusions die.

– W.H. Auden

Our only security is our ability to change. – John Lilly

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. – John Steinbeck


i believe people can change. it’s not common. it’s not easy. but yes i am a believer in that basic possibility for humans to evolve. certainly there is a baseline instinct to which we all revert … developed young. if we were not nurtured adequately, if our basic emotional needs weren’t met when we were kiddos, we will keep grasping to the external world to fulfill us as adults. but with self awareness, therapy, physical healing, patience, and the support of a good network … YES, we can change.

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  • thanks SD. i can always count on you for a thoughtful reflection. the devil you know versus the devil you don’t. habits are easier to change than inherent personality/character. is the accumulation of habits what creates personality/character … are you what you do? or are habits a reflection of your personality/character … how you value yourself? i am no expert on these matters … for me it is soothing to believe that i am responsible for what i put out in the world. it makes me more conscientious. i get bummed out by people who make choices based on an inescapable sense of obligation and dread. that’s a fear-based life rather than a love-based life, and as familiar as it is, i want no part of it.

  • superdave524

    In “The Great Divorce”, C.S. Lewis offers a vision of Heaven and Hell where everyone gets to choose which place to hang out. It’d seem an obvious choice, but, in order to make it into Heaven you have to throw off your old, unproductive habits (or vices, or whatever), which makes it impossible for lots of folks. Lots of folks will take the known demon to the unknown angel.

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