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What’s the 411

Dear friends and lurkers,

La vida col has undergone a fairly radical transformation since January 4, 2013: the day I met the love of my life. Since then, things have fallen into place and started to make sense.

In the next few weeks and months, I’ll leave Manhattan where I have lived alone and supported myself for the past 13 years. I’ll move closer to my love and his two amazing kids. By the end of the year, or shortly thereafter, we will all be under one roof.

As with any transformation, it’s been a process. While it may seem abrupt, this turn of events is actually the result of many years of reflection, work and patience.  Despite external appearances, not much about it is “sudden,” apart from him finally showing up!

Along with luck and the blessings and help from friends and family, a natural progression has brought me to this place. I’m very grateful. I’m also proud of my own part in it. There’s a saying, you have to “do the work” to be open to grace. I definitely did the work.

  • I experienced ups and downs (in dating and in life), which gave me perspective about who I am and what I really want in my life.
  • I was in therapy for 7 years.
  • I read everything I could about spirituality, self-acceptance and philosophy.
  • I did — and continue to do — tons of Yoga.
  • I meditated.

And finally, I surrendered. After years of trying basically every other approach, I finally decided that it was out of my hands and no amount of brute force, effort, planning or manipulation would deliver the love and life I desired. I needed to inhabit it and be open to it.

That’s when my beloved showed up. And it is one of those things where “you just know.” YUP, this is the man I am going to spend my life with, build a family with. It was so clear from the start. Sounds very new agey, I know. What can I say – I am Zen Col, hear me flow.

It comes as no surprise that my dear pal Miss Laurs introduced us. She loves me so much and always looks out for me. Apparently a few years ago I had sent a note out to all my friends asking them to keep me in mind if they knew anyone single and suitable. She racked her brain… and took it seriously. And a few years later, at the behest of her brilliant husband Kenneh (who has never actually MET George but has heard all about him from Laurie), she set us up.

It’s the love and support of dear pals who were genuinely “with me” on my path that have helped me get by all these years. Thanks to them, I had the courage, support and patience to let the plan unfold instead of forcing myself to conform to the guidelines and timelines of society.

I built a great career. I cultivated strong, grounded, enduring relationships. I learned how to give to others and live in a world that is not set up to celebrate and support single people, and especially not women. I’m proud of the path I’ve taken to get here. I’m grateful to everyone who helped me along the way. I’m so happy that that I stuck it out, didn’t compromise. It was worth the wait!

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4 Comments
  • col

    it is loving and supportive friends and fam like YOU (Christa, Linda K and Cuz Kate) who helped me get here. I love you and am grateful for you and look forward to sharing the next phase with you!! THANK YOU

  • kate

    love your story and love you cousin! xxoo

  • Linda K.

    You are a smart, sassy, savvy woman who has done the work and deserves all the good things in life that have come and are coming your way.

  • Congrats, Col!! So awesome. I will miss having you so close in NYC but am so excited for this next leg of your journey. Many congratulations, blessings, light, and buckets of love as your begin this new adventure. xoxo

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