man, i want to beat myself for gloating yesterday. i got what i asked for: i am in the fire now. i went from a charmed existence where i had it made to a wild new world where i have absolutely no clue what i am doing. some day i will look back on this day and remember how odd and unfamiliar it all was and think: i’ve been to the mountaintop. but right now i feel dumb. i really don’t like to feel dumb. in fact it’s pretty much been my life’s mission to avoid becoming dumb at all costs. but change is a prerequisite for growth, and growth is a sure fire way not to become dumb over the long haul. but in the short term, still, i = ignorant.
Mañana begins a new era. I start a new job in the industry I wanted to be in all along: media and entertainment. 5 years of finance/insurance served its purpose. It taught me how big business works. It taught me how to deal with honchos and dogma. It taught me the patience of Job. I essentially got an MBA, but better, and without paying for it. I am psyched to have some new content to work on, something new and perhaps even, gasp, fun to learn.
Deferred fixed annuity… what’s that?
i decided to start fresh.
i dropped the prior 3 years worth of archives, because the past is an illusion, like the future is a dream.
i abandoned much of the personal clamor for recognition: the photo album, the resume. though i still long for the strokes (oh, perennial child), i desire privacy even more (oh, cruel world).
as for what the content will be, i’ll make it up as i go along. such is life.