Category : love

love, Uncategorized
4

unconditional love

Every morning when I walk my dog Rufus I am filled with such a happy feeling. I feel so damned lucky to have him. That of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, he walked into mine. So much so that as I was walking him today, this epic Curtis Mayfield love ballad came to mind … one that in my youth I had ascribed to countless fellas who either didn’t want or deserve my affection. As I’ve grown older & wiser, I’ve learned to save myself for those who really love me back. Like Rufus!

When I got him, my life was in a shitty place. The economy was in the craphole … everyone worried for their jobs. And I had been abruptly booted from my apartment at Christmas time just days after learning that my Dad’s cancer had reached an advanced stage and he only had a few months left to live. I ended up taking the first apartment I could find. It was a dump for sure – it smelled so badly I called it “Stankonia.” On the positive side, it permitted dogs. I went on a mission to find my canine companion and three months later, after countless shelter visits and petfinder.com inquiries, I found Rufus. That was almost 3 years ago. My Dad got to meet Rufus. He said “he is a cute as can be.” Rufie loved Dad too – he loves manly men.

And here we are, several years later and the honeymoon’s not over. It is such a simple thing: the unconditional love of a pet. Each day their joy at being fed, pet and loved is a reminder of how to be grateful. Easy to please, never snarky or insecure or abusive or manipulative like humans are wont to be. I am not one of those people who elevates pets to the level of humans per se … I don’t view my pets as “children replacements.” I want children TOO! But until that’s possible, it is so fulfilling and grounding to have creatures to nurture, love and care for. It’s an external focus that really enhances my life.

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dance party!, love
1

monday morning dance party!


“love is the drug” by roxy music, apropos for the upcoming holiday.

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love
2

three kinds of love

warhol_love3“The forces of affection that bind us to each other preceded the rise of the rational brain. Love’s reasons have always been subcortical, though love’s execution may require careful plotting. … The three major systems for loving – attachment, caregiving, and sexuality – all follow their own complex rules. At a given moment any one of these three can be ascendant – say, as a couple feels a warm togetherness, or when they cuddle their own baby, or while they make love. When all three of these love systems are operating, they feed romance at its richest: a relaxed, affectionate, and sensual connection where rapport blossoms. …”

Excerpt c/o Delancey Place

Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence, Bantam, Copyright 2006 by Daniel Goleman, pp. 189-193.

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art, love
3

if you had to pick one …

art-life

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love, Uncategorized, zen shit
0

i’ve got a feeling

FALCON-HEENE-PUKEThis day has run the gamut. Smiles and tears. Funny stuff, sad stuff. Lots of memorable stuff. Started my day watching as Falcon, the balloon boy, barfed on the Today Show. Thank you Meredith Viera for suggesting the family take a minute to help the kid and get composed. I only wish I saw the Dad fart on Good Morning America. Later on at the office we all shared our opinions and laughed our asses off.

aha_momentAlso at work, I turned a corner on a story I’ve been working on. An aha moment. Don’t get those every day and when you do it’s satisfying. Nothing else feels as major as that aha. All the drivel and tireless processing pales in comparison.

And beyond the office, I heard stories of tragedy. Things happening to friends. Beginning of life, mid life, later in life: the unexpected can happen at all stages. Sometimes I wish we didn’t have to suffer. But I wonder if we’d know delight without suffering. Life is a gift, and it’s fleeting. All the dumb stuff we obsess over. Silly.

Advice

Folks, I’m telling you,
Birthing is hard
And Dying is mean
So get yourself
Some loving in between.

– Langston Hughes

dadpendantEnded the day up in Monroe. My Mom gave me her diamond earrings — amazing.I tend to lose jewelry, but will guard these babies with vigilance. I also received a necklace from my Dad. Well, sort of. My Mom had found a gift certificate to Tiffany in one of his drawers. He won it as a sales incentive and the expiration date was coming up. I picked out this piece — the shamrock — for him.

We talked about missing him. We talked about parting ways with his shoes, his coats. How weird it is to have a football season without him. It will be two months on Sunday. We miss him miss him miss him. But onward we march.

I am moving to a new apartment. Trading the West Village and all its celebrities and rich people and trust fund kids for a much more modest nabe in the East Village. I will miss the beauty, I will miss the Hudson, I will miss the charm. But it’s time to move on. New places, new people, new routines. New York. Change is good. All the fun stuff I sacrificed and put off, all the freedom and creativity that I denied myself. Now, it’s coming.

I’ve got a feeling.

It is quite true what Philosophy says: that Life must be understood backwards. But that makes one forget the other saying: that it must be lived–forwards. The more one ponders this, the more it comes to mean that life in the temporal existence never becomes quite intelligible, precisely because at no moment can I find complete quiet to take the backward-looking position.  — Søren Kierkegaard

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art, love, media
7

Are you a man or a boy?

bored-to-death-logoi am enamored with hbo’s new original series, “bored to death,” created and produced by jonathan ames. was pleased to learn today that we’ll be getting a second season. there’s so much to talk about here, but basically it’s about men flailing around in the absence of women. the main character, jonathan, played by nerdy dreamboat munchkin jason schwartzman, is pining for the ex who left him due to his meandering lack of focus and proclivity for white whine and weed. he’s a writer whose debut novel won him critical success. but he’s languishing with the writing of the second novel. aided by craigslist advertising, he begins moonlighting as an unlicensed private detective. it’s jonathan’s way to fight boredom and get his mojo back. absurdity ensues. when he’s not sleuthing, jonathan’s activities are centered around his two buddies: his boss George Christopher, magazine editor and party-goer played by the dashingly deviant Ted Danson, and Ray Hueston, his bestie, a  Brooklyn comic book artist played by the hilarious bearded yet feminized Zach Galifianaki.

this is a writer’s show. the dialogue is fantastic. the most recent episode had some words that broke through to my noggin:

Claudia Worth: Are you a man or a boy?
Jonathan: Well… what’s the difference?
Claudia Worth: With a man, you feel like you’re being taken, and you like it. And with a boy, you feel like they’re stealing something from you, and you don’t like it.

Claudia was the 16-year-old daughter of a psychologist that Jonathan picked up at a party (assuming she was older). out of the mouths of babes, right? that distinction is right on, and it extends beyond the physical sex act. the difference between being took and being stolen from. when you’re took, you go along with. when you’re stolen from, you are left alone, in a world apart.

postcards_1253668174641

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art, love, movies, Uncategorized, zen shit
0

Stories I got stories.

heartcollageThey are all building up. Perhaps this coming personal phase will be an explosion of expression. When I blow this mofo out, well … head for the hills.

I was thinking about the film “Paper Heart.” I have not seen it yet … just saw the web site and clips* and I am intrigued. It is a faux documentary that pretends to be real. Understood … faux is faux but the marketing implies that it plays directly off reality. I’m getting all jumbled but if you know what I mean, you know what I mean. Sorta montage collage.

It might be fun, but then it might just be 1.5 hours of hipster bratties in their glasses and hoodies being too cool for school. I’ll reserve judgment. Any which way, I dig the concept and think the creators are badass for getting it done and putting it out there.

I have this theory, unoriginal for sure, that the next phase of entertainment will be organic stories where there is no casting, no fundraising or formal scriptwriting & showrunning. We’ll all be out there blogging, vlogging, tweet-upping and whatnot and the best part of creativity will occur where our experiences just collide. For some of us it will simply be life – not “work” per se. For others it will be the show. The ultimate manifestation of Shakespeare’s “All the world’s a stage.”

Now, this is already happening for sure. It’s called culture. But entertainment itself shall become less and less institutionalized. The formal, giant artificial machinery will keep giving way until the line is totally blurred. (This will be the progression with all large institutions, BTW). Like the JL quote I trip out, that anchors this here blog: “Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.”

* I am irritated that Charlyne Yi did not interview any women comics or actors in the video clips on the official movie web site. What the frack?

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love, zen shit
0

currently accepting applications

llcoljfor the last 8 or so months… perhaps longer than that,  i’ve been preoccupied with the death of a close friend, my dad’s ongoing illness, work/economic worries, and other personal crises such as abruptly losing my home  and coming to terms with the painful end of a long-term relationship. a lot of heavy stuff in a really short period of time.

normal things that energize and challenge me… like routine exercise and dating … more or less fell to the wayside as i focused a large amount of my time on other matters like moving, helping out at home, and grieving.  all things considered i believe i’ve held it together pretty well. and now i am getting ready to crawl out of that dark cave i’ve been cocooning in. as part of that effort, i posted a profile online. it’s something i’ve done off and on over the years. never with a winning result, though i have gone on a lot of dates and met some nice people. mostly it’s good for shifting my mind into OPEN mode. like the white light on the top of the taxi saying, “yeah, i’m available.”

for YOUR consideration, here is what i posted in my profile … tell me what you think, please!

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love
0

nudgerific start to the weekend

liam mem day weekend 2009
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love
1

kate & conor's wedding

Kate & Conor's Wedding Weekend
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