Of those who say nothing, few are silent. – Thomas Neill
Entries categorized as ‘zen shit’
letting it ride
July 14, 2008 · 3 Comments
The bike is a dream, I must say. I bought a lock for it today so I can make the occasional stop and leave it outside at pal’s places, stores, etc. Am totes p-noid that someone’s gonna steal it since it’s so cool looking. Alas, que sera sera. That’s an approach I am taking to life overall. It’s a period of pretty epic stress. My Dad is very ill. Compounding the matter is a general denial of reality, or at least the refusal to articulate it … the ongoing propensity to “protect” my brothers, family and friends by pretending it’s all under control. Nothing’s under control. Such is life.
I struggle with how much to disclose, and to whom. You hear about “very private people.” I am not one of those, clearly − my biz is all over the internets. I don’t want pity, I don’t want morbid attention (positive attention? Bring it). But I hate walking around acting like everything’s dandy. It’s hard to give a shit about anything else. The day-to-day stuff that occupies my time is unimportant, but at the same time I’m glad for the distraction. Am fortunate to have an amazing network of people supporting me − family, friends, colleagues. Plus I’m being good to myself −eating well, exercising lots, not working too much. I know this too shall pass but in the meantime, as my pals have helped me acknowledge, I am in it. I’m in it and it blows.
After I bought the lock I drove down to the new Whole Foods in Tribeca (so close — dream!). Got ingredients for a Warm Garbanzo and Quinoa Salad. Cost me 8 bucks. Chucked it all in my backpack and cruised home. Am totes impressed with how well the meal came out. Am also starting to feel myself metamorphosize into something new. In spite of the difficulties, I feel I am on a good path. Lately that good path involves a bike path.
love
July 9, 2008 · 3 Comments
socrates says “know thyself.” buddha says “love thyself”
buddha is far more true.
unless you love yourself you will never love yourself.
knowing comes only later on.
love prepares the ground. love is the possibility of knowing oneself; love is the right way to know oneself.
synchronicity
July 9, 2008 · No Comments
People who understand the true nature of reality lose all sense of fear or concern.
Categories: zen shit
creativity cannot be outsourced
July 9, 2008 · No Comments
we exist to the extent that we anticipate, not only react.
the cartesian idea — cause & effect — that humans are machinelike … is limiting and dangerous.
inventions take place in anticipation and not in reaction to reality.
science is always anticipatory.
Categories: zen shit
Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.
June 24, 2008 · 4 Comments
“In truth, Wall Street is in for a radical makeover. Fewer people, lower margins, lower risk, lower compensation — and ultimately, fewer talented people.”
The Bonfire of the Vanities, the Sequel by Andrew Ross Sorkin
i agree with him and would add that it’s not just wall street. it’s all industries. it’s all breaking apart, spreading out. this isn’t necessairly a bad thing. it’s just different. for the past 150 years we’ve built up, up up. now it’s time to look inward and move out, out, out. around and across. across oceans, across regions, across what we thought were divisions but maybe needn’t be.
rip george
June 24, 2008 · 4 Comments
my dad always loved george carlin. him and richard pryor. and as a kid i didn’t quite get the appeal but i grasped the sense that these guys were cool badasses who cut through the BS in a way that made lots of grown ups love them. as the years unfolded, i never did develop much of an appreciation for george’s standup. i saw him as a sort of creepy, cranky negative guy. a hard-edged complainer, which didn’t sit well with my good girl sensibility and rosy demeanor. but as i became more authentic, allowed myself to get angry about all the shit in the world, i’ve begun to dig on george more. there was a great interview with him in the november 2007 issue of interview magazine where he defines success as “finding something you love, finding that you’re good at it, and being recognized for that.” simple and true.
and here’s another one of his quotes i once posted here on col’s blog that i think is worth rehashing:
“I don’t like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn kids, somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, ‘there is no i in team.’ What you should tell them is, maybe not. But there is an i in independence, individuality, and integrity.” –George Carlin
ikiru (to live)
June 23, 2008 · 3 Comments
i watched this last week. heavy shit. and crazy long. close to home … if you know anyone who’s worked in a bureaucracy, or who was dying, or living unhappily, regretting his life, or all of the above. wishing he had done things differently. an old school about schmidt, but with some hope. the beauty of this story, the theme of this story, for me, is that it’s never too late. and the lesson is not to defer living. not to defer whatever it is you really want, because life is brief.
Act V, scene 5 of Macbeth
“All our yesterday have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more.”
do you see what i see?
June 18, 2008 · 1 Comment
when i was little, before i completely grasped the concept of “hide and seek,” i would put my head down on the table, cover my eyes and proclaim, “you can’t see me!” ahh, young ego. reminds me of this post today from daily om:
What we see and don’t see may just be a matter of perspective, like the ladybug who sees the leaf on which she sits, but not the tree the leaf grows on, or the person sitting beneath it. And the person beneath the tree may or may not see the ladybug, depending on where he focuses his attention. Still, all of these things, whether seen or not seen by the person or the ladybug, exist in reality. Some people are more gifted at accessing that which we cannot see, but given an open and willing heart, anyone can tune into the invisible realm and begin to find their way.
long & loose
June 18, 2008 · 4 Comments
art − ash and i saw the david byrne “play the building” exhibit, right by the staten island ferry, a week ago. we enjoyed it. it was one of those shows where you go, you see it, you get it, and you leave. unless you’re a hipster out cruisin’ for dates, in which case you linger and prepare pedantic pickup lines for dudes with mustaches and chicks with femullets. speaking of uber coolness, i still haven’t made it over to the murakami exhibit, but shall shortly. and damnit i missed the telectroscope thing in brooklyn, whereby you can look through a telescope and see (and wave to) people in london.
film − linda and i saw the satc movie. i really liked. it’s a showcase of these four wonderful characters, and an homage to friendship, and liberated women living life on their own terms. i was late to the satc party … i only started watching after the 3rd or 4th season … early on i was a snob in the “it’s shallow and frivolous” camp. i only had eyes for SFU. but once i gave the show a shot i realized there was much more to the characters and the entire dynamic. i also understand why so many people are threatened by what the show represents … women going after and getting what they want, enjoying pleasurable things, sustaining themselves through their own wits, charms and relationships rather than relying on men and traditional institutions like marriage to take care of them.
zen shit − sunday after yoga i stopped off at the east west bookstore (a favorite zen col hangout) and picked up another title – “meditation” − by indian mystic and guru osho, whom i’ve been reading a lot of lately. made my way over to the water and read, lazed there most of the afternoon on a sweet perch. time passed and group of people came by and sat around me on said perch. at first i was irritated because their banter was distracting me from my book. but once i started listening i discovered that they were a meditation group … and they were talking a lot about osho! the leader, a lovably crazy hippie lady, had known him well … she was talking about building a sod worship center in india. the students shared their troubles and concerns … both abstract and specific. how they struggle with silencing their minds … and are addicted to the mental drama in spite of knowing it’s no good for anybody. one woman couldn’t stand being paid $40 an hour for her engineering skills due to the bad economy (she’s used to receiving double that). another was worried about her green card coming though. another still was saying that he can’t see himself riding out a desk job for the rest of his life. together they brainstormed about creating a food cart business that caters to manhattan professionals — healthy, organic, high-end indian food. they discussed the leadership team, distribution and their marketing plan. they were interesting, warm and i felt like a part of their group (and sort of was). a lovely day by the water.
