erin and i were complaining about guys who appear to be interested, but who never actually follow through to ask us out. for years we made allowances for them. we even accepted the myth that we are “intimidating.” we extended ourselves over and over despite knowing, deep down, that the kind of man we want would not sit by passively requiring us to make all the moves. we want men, not boys. and men who are crazy about us, not guys who could just as easily wait for the next chick passing through. as beth so aptly put it: “we all have hard things we have to do in life. for women it’s giving birth, for men it’s asking women out. (to men) yes, we know it’s hard. but suck it up and do your job!”
erin lives in la i live in nyc. we don’t see each other for months. we meet up in chicago and have close to identical loungewear. if it’s not loungewear, it’s hairdo. or shoes or jacket or something. oh yeah, and our lives are exactly the same too except she lives amidst palm trees and freeways and i live amidst skyscrapers and subways. it’s been happening for years. it’s actually quite comforting, in a narcissistic kind of way. and, come to think of it, not all that mysterious if viewed through the lense of demographic studies.
“Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one’s thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
all things are cyclical. the good times, the bad. and the people. maybe not the specific people, but the kinds of people, at least. and interest levels. the ebb and flow. very much like my mtv consumption. sometimes mtv seems fun and fabulous, other times it’s a fascinating study of contemporary culture. and other times still — it’s utter, complete rubbish. now i know it’s me that changes, not mtv. cycles, seasons, to everything, turn turn turn.
i love business, and i’m good at it. yet there’s a very strong other side of me, where an artist resides. it’s the side of me that focuses on universal truths — the world beyond the next planning period. the particulars, the details, the specifics that we all seem to get mired in like a fly in shit is just … shit.
this desire to make contact with higher truths is what made me stop feeling anything very passionate with relation to politics, religion, etc. in recent years. i view those institutions and issues as a huge waste of my personal energy. call it what you wish, zen, peace, complacency, or just straight exhaustion. i don’t know what it is, but those things seem so trite, so ephemeral. which is not to say i don’t follow current events anymore. i do, but in a much more detached and accepting way. and the beat goes on, you know?
like picassso, i believe that “art is a lie that makes us realize truth.” art is the closest to truth that humans can get. the science crowd adds a lot. the science crowd takes the mystery out of a lot of things. but they will never take all the mystery out.
i like this summary of aristotle’s views on the good life. i took a class on aristotle in grad school and am fairly sure i am an aristotelian at heart. erin and i have been debating it for years. plato versus aristotle (who’s right), and which are each of us? here’s a bit i like:
Happiness, for Aristotle, is not something that comes to us from the outside. Rather, happiness is an inside job. Happiness is an activity, not a passivity (something that happens to you). It is an activity rooted in human choices. In other words, if someone is unhappy, it is because he has not chosen well. And if one is happy, it is only because he has chosen well. Remember, a good man is one who reasons well and chooses well. Hence, a good man is a happy man. Happiness, according to Aristotle, is going to result from making choices that promote the fullness of one’s nature. Now human nature has specific powers, namely, intellect, will, and the concupiscible and irascible appetites. And so human happiness is going to lie in the perfection of those human powers.
i decided to start fresh.
i dropped the prior 3 years worth of archives, because the past is an illusion, like the future is a dream.
i abandoned much of the personal clamor for recognition: the photo album, the resume. though i still long for the strokes (oh, perennial child), i desire privacy even more (oh, cruel world).
as for what the content will be, i’ll make it up as i go along. such is life.