col’s blog

here’s the dress i wore the other night:

and while i’m at it here’s my new bike!

I was mortified that my Canadian pal told you my blog URL. I am too shy and too much of a dork and not a good flirt at all so if you’re here, bless you. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you:

1) thank you for all the free Riesling.

2) you are adorable. You look like Jason Schwartzman but cuter.

3) thank you for the napkins to ease my tears.

4) you have a very impressive iPod.

I love NYC and my pals. We’re all in it together. That’s the beauty of it, and of this time in my life. No matter what happens I know these gals are here for me offering unconditional love. I hope we’re old bags together some day.

Cin cin!

Sorry to keep ya’ll dangling on the outcome of the closed-door dating event I hyped last week. As it turns out, I had a fun experience. No love connections, no Col and soul mate sitting on a couch, holding hands and talking with Barbara Wawa in my future … but still fun.

3PM: I left work early to get a blow out and makeup done at one of my favorite places in the world − Blow Styling Salon. I am totes pals with the head stylist, David, and I adore the staff and the general environment. When I walked in I was scraggly, stressed out, anxious. Naturally my skin had broken out just in time for my big TV moment (Murphy’s Law). Well, they calmed me down and took care of everything. By the time I walked out I looked absolutely fabulous and was cool, calm and collected.

5PM: With one exception − I still didn’t know what I was wearing. I’ve been in wardrobe limbo of late. Am not fitting the clothes I wore the past two summers when I was marathon training and just generally in better shape. The invitation said to dress as you would on a first date. The last first date I had (a few weeks ago) I wore board shorts, a tank top & flip flops. Not an option. I swung by Darling for a last minute shock and awe shopping expedition and picked up a really cute purplish-pink dress, which I already had the perfect shoes and jewelry to complement. Score!

6:30 PM: As I approached the event location in Chelsea I saw all the other participants congregating outside. They held us out there like cattle for a bit while they continued to get set up inside. There were cameras everywhere − inside and outside. A quick scan of the dudes had me bummed. I saw lots of meek-seeming guys, dudes with long ponytails, and several fashion emergencies to boot. Can’t judge a book by its cover, indeed, but posture alone is quite telling. I generally think online dating attracts a type of man that I am not suited to date, and since this event drew participants from a pool of online dater profiles, I was not very hopeful. Met some cool gals while waiting in the line and we walked in together.

7:00 PM: They fed us copious amounts of alcohol and not very much food. Everyone received a little booklet with icebreaker exercises and 5 matches to guys who’d be there that night. I recognized one of the dudes on my cards as a gent I had actually communicated over email with many months back. We were supposed to get coffee or something like that and he just disappeared into the ether. I spotted him early on and he was cute from far away.

8:00 PM: Dr. Helen Fisher gave a talk. She was lovely. So smart talking about neuroscience …. a subject I, too, am interested in … and she looked terrific. By then I had had several drinks and was just roaming around talking with anyone and everyone. I approached the prior-communication dude and he had no recollection of our earlier exchange. He also acted like he didn’t know I was one of the 5 matches listed in his book. My esteem for him immediately plummeted. Too cool is not attractive. Neither is excessive gel and cologne, both of which he was rocking. I kept talking with him until some random guy walked up and tried one of the icebreaker things on me, giving me a great out.

8:30 PM: I continued to mingle, chatting with totally random dudes and dudettes. I am actually quite comfortable in that sort of setting, especially after 3 red wines. I ran into a very interesting guy … an Eco Pirate. He was one of the long hair ponytail guys. He goes on anti-poaching expeditions, is vegan, does that whole critical mass biking thing. Very interesting to talk with. Our bond was science, zen shit and general bemusement at the whole event. The aloof gel man of course came trolling back and tried to get back in the mix. He wanted to make fun of the Eco Pirate but was unsuccessful and I totes blew him off. I actually sort of enjoyed that − he was such a jerk.

9:00 PM: I approached Dr. Fisher, told her how cool she, how fascinating her work is … that I’d watched her TED talks on YouTube. I recommended that she read Biology of Transcendence by Joseph Chilton Pearce, and told her that she looked amazing in her little white dress. She was gracious and admitted that she had worked her ass off to fit into that dress and felt great wearing it.

9:30 PM: Tipsy and starving, I decided to make my exit and invited the Eco Pirate to get Mexican food with me nearby. On my way out the party organizers asked us to turn in our cards saying who we’d like to see again. I said no one, sorry. The lady said, “Not one?” The answer was no. There were many nice people but no one I had any chemistry with and that’s the whole point. Eco Pirate was a nice dude with interesting stories and adventures, but not a love connection. We had a nice dinner and I was home by 10:30.

11:00 PM: I texted David and several pals to tell them I had fun and looked hot but didn’t meet any dudes. David’s reply was: “You’ll find him. I’ll find him. We r all in the same boat. Keep your head up!”

Don’t send ‘em. Unless you’re a publicly traded corporate behemoth like Live Nation or you’re an old wave band, owned by the media, that has no idea who its fans are.

If everybody was reading the newspaper, why has circulation dropped? Ditto with “Time” and “Newsweek”. And network TV has abysmal ratings, certainly compared to the days before cable. Why do you keep sending a zillion arrows into this abyss?

I know why, it makes you feel good, it makes you feel like you’re doing something. But you’re not. You’re just wasting time.

Read the full tome …

bob’s on to something, and i think you can apply his ideas to all consumer sectors, not just music. i don’t agree with all of what he says, though.

people are actually watching MORE television than ever

they are reading MORE content (newspaper/mag/online) than ever

aggregate circulation, ratings are going UP across the board, but down among individual outlets.

the attention’s all spreading out.

the ubiquity of content makes all messages less impactful.

that’s why NEW brands struggle — whether they’re bands, TV shows, soft drinks. there’s no central place to force people to pay attention and take note.

ATTENTION, not content, is a scarce resource.

All communications must become all the more deft, targeted and un-templated.

cousin jack brought this hilarious quiz in the current issue of details magazine to my attention. some of my favorite questions to test whether you’re THAT GUY …

You say the name of the town where your Ivy League alma mater is located instead of the name of the school.

You put your kid in a Che Guevara T-shirt.
You refer to anything as “small-batch” or “artisanal.”
You own a wine Rabbit.

You proselytize about carbon footprints.

You name your kid after a character in To Kill a Mockingbird.

reminds me of andy benard. and/or 85% of straight men in san francisco.

full disclosure: my THAT guy rating was “Hot”. Am definitely guilty of some of those infractions, like wearing flip flops and board shorts in the city.

THX!

socrates says “know thyself.” buddha says “love thyself”

buddha is far more true.

unless you love yourself you will never love yourself.

knowing comes only later on.

love prepares the ground. love is the possibility of knowing oneself; love is the right way to know oneself.

People who understand the true nature of reality lose all sense of fear or concern.

we exist to the extent that we anticipate, not only react.

the cartesian idea — cause & effect — that humans are machinelike … is limiting and dangerous.

inventions take place in anticipation and not in reaction to reality.

science is always anticipatory.

• not the wisest or most gifted
• not to be confused with physical courage
• challenges the group of peers
• acts alone, without encouragement, relying solely on conviction and own inner resources
• not motivated by approval, reputation, wealth or love
• guided by an inner gyroscope