of the new job. so far so good. i need to step up and start learning how the business really works. i am scared, but that is good. i like a challenge. i want to grow and get better and this situation will absolutely help me do that.
what’s the same across industries: the corporate stuff. the boardrooms, the scripts, the changes, the powerpoints, the scrambling.
the difference: the the content is interesting as hell. in fact, there is nothing in the world i would rather be working on. i have a lot to learn, and i can’t wait to study it.
another difference: the honchos are dynamic … and quite badass. they are demanding and don’t settle for anything short of the best. and they are just cool. i know, very high school of me. but i can’t help myself. i’ve always wanted to hang with the popular crowd.
another difference: the press. the constant barrage of inquiries. not to me personally (yet) but to my bosses. we are, after all, a media relations department for a high profile company. i don’t desire a direct PR role. my job is PR, but in a indirect way and i prefer that.
so that’s my story and i’m sticking to it.
i am moving apartments tomorrow. i don’t have boxes. i’m sleep deprived. i am just gonna pony up the dough and have the moving guys pack up my shit. i hate to do it, but there’s this thing called physics:
the measure of disorganization or degradation in the universe that reduces available energy, or tendency of available energy to dwindle. chaos, opposite of order.
that explains my condition.
chaos, opposite of order. … AAHHHHHH
loyal readers may recall a post on the old FAKE blog (and by old i mean existent until 3 days ago) in which i called geraldo a poster boy for masculine excess. by some strange turn of web clicks, i found myself on his web site reading about how he staked the fate of his “iconic” mustache on the outcome of the michael jackson trial. and then i started noticing the ads for his show, geraldo at large, all over the subway. so ashleigh and i went to mesa grill for brunch on sunday and who arrives but mr. mustachio himself, wearing tinted glasses. absurd! like there is any way to go incognito with that muskrat housed on one’s upper lip. ashleigh pointed out that his mug embodies the stereotypical disguise: mustache, glasses, big schnoz. oddly, ashleigh had been at a dinner party the night before where a couple mentioned that they had each separately seen geraldo out in the city that day, in different places at different times. like the unsolved mystery of al capone’s vault, we were left to ponder — why the sudden presence of geraldo in our lives?
man, i want to beat myself for gloating yesterday. i got what i asked for: i am in the fire now. i went from a charmed existence where i had it made to a wild new world where i have absolutely no clue what i am doing. some day i will look back on this day and remember how odd and unfamiliar it all was and think: i’ve been to the mountaintop. but right now i feel dumb. i really don’t like to feel dumb. in fact it’s pretty much been my life’s mission to avoid becoming dumb at all costs. but change is a prerequisite for growth, and growth is a sure fire way not to become dumb over the long haul. but in the short term, still, i = ignorant.
Mañana begins a new era. I start a new job in the industry I wanted to be in all along: media and entertainment. 5 years of finance/insurance served its purpose. It taught me how big business works. It taught me how to deal with honchos and dogma. It taught me the patience of Job. I essentially got an MBA, but better, and without paying for it. I am psyched to have some new content to work on, something new and perhaps even, gasp, fun to learn.
Deferred fixed annuity… what’s that?
i decided to start fresh.
i dropped the prior 3 years worth of archives, because the past is an illusion, like the future is a dream.
i abandoned much of the personal clamor for recognition: the photo album, the resume. though i still long for the strokes (oh, perennial child), i desire privacy even more (oh, cruel world).
as for what the content will be, i’ll make it up as i go along. such is life.